2015.05.09 - The New Jersey Record - Veteran Rocker Finds Balance In His Life (Duff)

Duff McKagan to sign new book at Bookends in Ridgewood

By BRIAN ABERBACK
SPECIAL TO THE RECORD

Former Guns N' Roses bassist Duff McKagan's new book, "How to Be a Man (and other illusions)," is equal parts self-help manual, advice handbook and string of random observations.

"The original idea was to publish a book of my columns," said McKagan, who has written sports, financial and slice-of-life pieces for ESPN.com, Seattle Weekly and Playboy.com over the past seven years. "But there was a particular column I wrote called "Manup" about the things I've learned in life that became the outline for the book. It became a much longer extension of a tidy little piece."

Despite its title, "How to Be a Man" is not a primer on machismo, nor is it chauvinistic. Instead, McKagan, 51, writes about balancing family life with rock-and-roll road trips, candidly relates his struggles with and overcoming addiction, and explains why he chose to spend a day staining his deck instead of cruising on a yacht with his rock-star friends.

McKagan, a Seattle native, also played in Velvet Revolver and currently performs with Duff McKagan's Loaded and Walking Papers. He will sign copies of "How to Be a Man" on Monday in Ridgewood. The book is the follow-up to his 2012 New York Times best-selling autobiography, "It's So Easy (and other lies)."

Q. You grew up in the male-dominated hard rock world. Now you're married with two daughters in high school. What's it like being the only guy in the house?

It's a special thing to be a father to girls. I've had empathy for women from having three sisters. But having my own girls, it's such an honor to see them grow up, and hopefully give them some good guidance. I'm lucky in that I've got a really solid base at home from which to go out and play shows. But I know that [performing] is not all there is to life.

Q. Nor, apparently, is hanging out with fellow musicians. You write about turning down an opportunity to spend a weekend on a yacht with Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler and former Guns N' Roses drummer Matt Sorum after a show so that you could go home to stain your deck.

I was too embarrassed to tell them. I told them I had some stuff going on I had to get done. I did get to fly to the gig with Steven Tyler though. He's one of my heroes. But being at home and having that balance is so important. Plus, I didn't want someone walking on my deck and getting a splinter.

Q. You were a heavy drinker throughout your 20s and into your early 30s. Then you got sober by immersing yourself in martial arts, mountain biking and running. Were you averse to going to a traditional rehabilitation center or engaging in a 12-step program?

It was really just a matter of I had a mountain bike in my garage so I figured, 'let me get on that thing.' Anything to stay away from alcohol and drugs. Exercise works for me. It gives me a natural high. It has also helped me with depression. I've had panic attacks since I was a teenager. I find it helpful to literally run through it.

Q. Over the past few years you've played, separately, with your former Guns N' Roses bandmates Axl Rose and Slash. The two of them haven't talked in decades. A chapter in your book is titled, "Let Go of Resentments." Any advice for a certain singer and guitarist?

I just wrote about something that I understand about myself. Over time I've gotten rid of a lot of resentment I didn't know I was even carrying around. I don't try to impart anything in the book, though, but if I can write about things without being preachy and people get something out of it, that's great.

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