Duffs top 10 rock band dos and don'ts

​It dawned on me the other day, that at this point in my life, I have been in a one rock band or another for more than 30 years. This rarefied stratus should definitely give me a point from which to reflect back a bit, and maybe even dispel with some hard-won knowledge, the things that work and do not work within the make-up of a rock band. No?

With no further ado then, here is a quick cheat-sheet on some of my wise(assy)ness.

1. Find a good and solid drummer first. Without a great back-beat, your band will simply never get out of the starting gate.

2. After that first solid drummer becomes too much of a pain in the ass -- jettison said drummer, and repeat step #1. This process could very well end up consuming the rest of your career!

3. I'm kind of kidding about #1 and #2.

4. Get a singer that has what we call, L.S.D. -- Lead Singers' Disease. That person has to have the ability to stand in front on a stage, and usually with no guitar to stand behind -- and absolutely OWN the whole stage and venue.

Yes, it takes an odd sort to feel comfortable in this odd situation. It usually takes a person who has very high thoughts about his or her own personage. It WILL get old after awhile to the other band members. But hell, by the time the band is sick of the singers antics, the psychophantic managers will already have found a way to wedge the original band guys out of the group.

5. The use of high levels of alcohol and drugs usually play cozy bed-partners to all persons that are in the later stages of #4.

6. Get a bass player that has a good sense of humor, because inevitably the "bass player jokes" will start to chip away at that poor sucker.

(There was a scientist visiting a lost tribe in the jungles of Africa. He was there to document the village life. On the day that the scientist gets to the village, the tribal drummer is playing for hours without a break, and everyone in the tribe seems happy and tranquil. The moment the drums stop though, the villagers take off screaming through the jungle, away from the village. Then the scientist stops the chief of the tribe before he takes off, and asks why everyone is so scared and fleeing in such an abrupt fashion. The chief looks at the scientist in a panic, and says, "oh, now comes the bass solo.")

7. Guitarists are always cool from the outside. Their appearance on stage is always the envy of all of the 'cool people' in the audience. If your kid wants to play an instrument, steer them to this instrument.

8. Everyone in the band should end up helping carry the gear to and from gigs. One thing that the band guys will have to look forward to though is the fact that their fitness will eventually be the best. Yeah, singers never DO end up helping in the endless schlepping of gear.

9. If you think I am only speaking on one particular band that I have been in here in this column, you are sorely mistaken. These steps are commonplace with most all rock bands that I have either been in, or witnessed.

10. I have played all of the above instruments in one band or another, so yes, I have indeed fallen trap to every above scenario!

11. Yes, I DID state that this is a "Top 10" list, but we musicians aren't the best at numbers....and letters...and names...and geography...and book-learnin'.

12. Have a GOOD sense of humor. If you take all of this stuff (like this column) too seriously, then indeed, you are not in on the joke -- and hence will miss all of the "good times" that being in a band will bring you.

13. And once you find yourself in a band, and you feel that the chemistry is perfect and the music is the best thing you can ever be a part of -- just enjoy that time. All of the other personal crap that may have to endure, is just that...crap.

Source: http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2011/05/duff_mckagan_the_top_10_rock_b.php

Soulmonster wrote:
4. Get a singer that has what we call, L.S.D. -- Lead Singers' Disease. That person has to have the ability to stand in front on a stage, and usually with no guitar to stand behind -- and absolutely OWN the whole stage and venue.

Yes, it takes an odd sort to feel comfortable in this odd situation. It usually takes a person who has very high thoughts about his or her own personage. It WILL get old after awhile to the other band members. But hell, by the time the band is sick of the singers antics, the psychophantic managers will already have found a way to wedge the original band guys out of the group.

5. The use of high levels of alcohol and drugs usually play cozy bed-partners to all persons that are in the later stages of #4.

He does emphasize that this is not written with one band in his thoughts, but it is hard not to think that this is not meant to be about GN'R.